Iowa City – The Cornheads are off to a fantastic start in the AL East, but it appears not everything is peaceful in the small Iowa town. Cornhead fans have taken to the airwaves, message boards and blogs in anger at the perceived lack of respect from MLB and the national media, including the Clarkson Gazette.
“Spring is here and the corn is planted but so are the Cornheads, who have planted themselves above the world champs in a very tough division. When visiting the Clarkson [Gazette] Blog you won’t see the Cornheads being mentioned.” One poster on the Cornheads fan page writes.
“We don’t live in New York, we live in Iowa and last time I checked they own two Clarkson titles to our none.” team president Douglas “Doogie” Bader said, “We will have to earn those stripes the hard way, or if we just want to see our name in lights we can always move to New York."
Fans of the newly minted Iowa City team are riding high after a sweep of last years champs and an early season four game lead over their division rivals. In addition, the fever pitch is reaching a crescendo with their recent, and ongoing at time of press, 12 game winning streak. A streak they look to extend to lucky 13 behind their ace, Curt Brock.
Brock, who has struggled the previous two years with the team, has had a career revival since moving to Iowa City. Fans in the notorious tough Philadelphia were constantly on one of the highest paid pitchers in the game for not living up to his contract. In fact, ownership even put the lefty hurler on the trading block earlier this year, but ultimately could not work out a deal. Lucky them.
“It was tough the last couple of years, and I really struggled for the first time in my career. At least a prolonged struggle.” Brock said recently in an interview, “I kind of lost my mojo, but since moving to Iowa City, things have really turned around. The fans here are great, and really make me feel at home. A total 180 from Philly.”
Brock, who grew up just outside of Atlanta, GA in Woodstock, has found peace after purchasing a farm near Iowa City, where he has said he goes to relax after home games. The fresh air has worked wonders for the former number 1 overall pick, as he has posted a league leading 1.31 ERA.
After finishing in second place to the New York Bombers for the last five years, and early playoff exits in each season, many national pundits are taking a wait and see approach with the Cornheads.
“Look, it’s great what’s being done in Iowa City right now, but it’s still very early, and a four game lead is not insurmountable for the Bombers” PSEN analyst Duncan McDougal said, “They’ve been on fire, and Brock is pitching out of his mind right now, but I don’t think they can keep it up. Especially with Julio Saenz back for the Bombers. Besides, the entire population of Iowa City can fit most stadiums, I don’t think they have a chance this year.”
Enraged by McDougals comments, the rabid Cornhead fans took to the streets outside of Principal Park to protest his, and other national columnists, comments. One fanatic even went so far as to burn dolls of Willie the Janitor from the Simpsons in effigy. McDougal, who is of Scottish decent, commented that “when you are surrounded by corn and nothing but corn, you’re going to be a little off kilter”.
McDougal has since issued an apology to Cornhead fans after pressure from the PSEN network, and has been suspended one week.
However, not all Iowa City residents have been happy with the teams success. Saul Moleski, former owner of Iowa City Pizza, has fallen on hard times after a disastrous game promotion early in the season. The promotion promised a free large one-topping pizza for anyone with a ticket from final game of the series with the Bombers, provided that the team swept the World Champs.
Unfortunately for Moleski, the home team prevailed, and the next day, many of the fans from the sold out game appeared to get their free pizza. Of course, there was not enough pizza to go around, and eventually, Saul had to file for bankruptcy after honorably trying to fill all orders.
“I know nothing about the base-ball! I come from Russia, where we hear of mighty New York Bombers. I thought Bombers would win!” Saul said when reached for comment.
When asked about his future plans, he replied, “Now I have to move to Moscow with sister! Is sad because Saul will work with donkeys or be sent to Siberia!”
“It’s sad, because everyone around here loved Saul. He is always very friendly, but we’ll get him back on his feet, this is a good community.” said local resident, Mack Johnson.
Fans have created a website, freesaulmoleski.com, and hope to raise enough money to help Saul get back on his feet in America.
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